“So little death metal dude is an old buddy of yours? What just happened back there?”
Just when Lester was beginning to feel like he was building up a tolerance for bizarre encounters, stumbling upon Bronco was almost an overdose of weird. Lester had just cracked the lock on the door of the tree-topped bunker, but he was having trouble getting the image of the blood-encrusted Bronco out of his head. Had Lester known the part Bronco played in ending Harry’s emails, there most likely would have been much more than squirrel blood covering Bronco.
“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised myself. On our way to Kentucky, I ran into him in a restaurant bathroom.”
“There ain’t no way you could remember some guy from a public restroom unless you were doing more than pissing or shitting.”
“He is one of those characters you don’t forget. He made it a point to tell me directly how much he loved Metallica. When I saw him coming at us… well, you saw what happened.”
“I’m thinking that little buster’s skull would be cracked wide open right now if the mother of all coincidences hadn’t just occurred.”
Dave and Lester descended a flight of stairs down into what seemed to be an abandoned garrison. There were troop quarters and a central staging area, but no troops and no sign that any troops actually lived there at the moment. The area was minimally lit though, which seemed a little odd to Lester for an unoccupied section of an underground fortress. Energy conservation must not have been a high priority. Then Lester and Dave heard another set of footsteps.
Oxfords. Lester searched for some cover, but it was too late. A man in an English suit rounded the corner and spotted them immediately. Lester smiled at the man. Surprisingly, the man returned the smile and continued to walk towards the two disheveled hikers.
“Mr. Horton, Mr. Bussabarger, I’m so glad you found your way in. I apologize sincerely for the inconvenience. Our main entrance is a little off-limits at the moment. Of course, you understand.”
The man extended his hand to Lester and then to Dave who both instinctively shook it while giving each other sidelong glances—glances that translated into text message shorthand would read, “WTF?”
“You can call me Marv. I’ll be showing you to your rooms, and then we’ll be meeting with Dolph momentarily. Follow me, please.”
Marv knew exactly whom he was talking to. It was decided the pretense of mistaken identity would be adequate to lure the two guests into a false sense of confidence. They would be easier to manage. Bloodshed would be minimized.
In room 16, bloodshed was an understatement. Ivy stood in shock and nausea against the wall as Pam picked up the decapitated head of Anton and removed the hat he had been wearing. She carefully slipped off the mesh of wires that had encapsulated Anton’s crown since the trio’s disembarking the hydrofoil. The wiry device collapsed into a smaller form. Ivy had not noticed Anton was wearing anything under the hat. Pam looked to Ivy as the beastly body of Claude Bullock inched cautiously closer towards the smaller of the two women.
“Ivy. I’m going to throw this to you. Pull the two pointed ends apart and put this on your head with the pointier side in the front. Then run to me.”
“I’m going to puke.”
“This stops the puke.”
Pam threw the device at Ivy. It fell a few feet short, landing on the red-coated floor. Ivy struggled to reach for the device. The closer she moved to Pam’s glowing caduceus, the more her stomach moved up into her throat. A throbbing pain in her head began to increase as she felt the bond between Ru and herself begin to fray. With her head as far from the tip of her fingers as possible, Ivy screamed with one last reach to grasp the device. She began to pull the ball of wires apart frantically as the distance between her and Claude diminished. Blood dripped into her eyes as she placed the device on her head. Then Claude’s body slammed into the wall where Ivy had been standing, missing her by inches as she sprinted slipping and sliding towards Pam. Pam grabbed Ivy tight with one arm while she held the caduceus in front of them both like a shield.
“How is the possible? How can you hold such a thing?” Claude rumbled.
“Our souls are cloaked, demon. Now it is you who are trapped,” Pam proclaimed triumphantly.
“I’ll destroy you before you have a chance to complete your magic.”
“So be it. At least one of us will remain to carry out our mission. Who are you? Xerbil? Gno’orfz? You’ve defiled the human body you inhabit for naught.”
“You know those names. Yes, I’m certain we’ve met before.”
Claude’s tongue rapidly escaped his mouth to slurp up some of Anton’s blood covering his hand. Pam with Ivy began to move in Claude’s direction when the lights came on and a voice came from the door.
“I don’t know who you are or why Claude hasn’t killed you yet, but you better not make another fucking move.”
“Steven, my friend, you’re just in time. We seem to have some uninvited guests.”
The orderly stood at the door with a submachine gun trained on the two women. He tapped a button on his earpiece.
“We’re going to need the clean-up crew for room 16 again. Sorry, guys.”
The sight of blood had never bothered him before, yet the orderly was suddenly feeling the taste of his dinner and stomach acid bubbling up his esophagus.
Claude hissed, “Put away your silly magic wand, or Steven will shoot you down. Isn’t that right, Steven?”
Pam hurled the caduceus at the orderly, who was able to fire off a few rounds before saying goodbye to his Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Pam and Ivy ran towards the convulsing man to recover the wand. Ivy crumpled in pain at the doorway.
“Pam.”
Ivy held her shoulder. Pam moved Ivy’s sopping red hand to view the damage.
“High and outside. Looks like he got you right through the shoulder, kid.”
Claude hovered menacingly near the horizon of the caduceus’ sphere of influence while Pam ripped a couple shreds of the bottom part of her shirt to dress Ivy’s wound.
Trapped in the cocoon, Harry had nothing but time. After processing what he thought had happened, Harry decided to write it off as merely a dream at first—an intensely vivid and detailed dream. The joy of seeing his Nana and the pain of seeing her disappear was too overwhelming for Harry to deal with. But the typical distractions were no longer there for Harry in the cocoon. The only places he could go were deeper into his own mind. He began to methodically scour every detail about the red folder assignment that had led him to his current state. The Brother Dave videos popped up in his memory review. With all he had seen, Harry could now fully appreciate some of Dave’s words. Dave’s meditation lessons seemed apropos at the moment. Rather than letting go, Harry was to embrace every living thing around him at once. He was to try to connect to everything around him in some way—feel it, sense it, become it. This was counterintuitive to most teachings, but Harry continued. To Harry’s wonder, with his body in the cocoon, he was actually beginning to feel like he was touching the outside with his mind. He wasn’t just thinking about it; he felt as if he was somehow interacting with it-- recognizing it genuinely. There was Dolph. There was Angie. There was Bronco. There was Lester. There was Dave. He saw Dave’s friend Pam and the mystery girl from the pool and the internet video. There were beings of light and a shadow amongst them. Harry couldn’t control what happened outside, but he was so close to seeing it.
At that moment, following Marv through another section of the compound, Dave nudged Lester.
“Your friend is here,” Dave mumbled to Lester.
“How do you know this?”
“I don’t know. I just know he is here.”
“Is he okay?”
“If I’m sensing him, he must be alive.”
Marv stopped at a large door, turned, and looked at Lester.
“Mr. Horton, your suite. If you need anything, just pick up the phone and dial ‘zero’. I’ll be back around 9:30. Then we can meet Dolph.”
Lester could sense Marv was trying to separate them.
“If y’all don’t mind, I need to see where Busburger’s suite is. I need to go over some details with him before the meeting.”
“He’ll be four doors down from you in the jaguar room,” Marv said as he pointed down the hall.
“Heck, I’ll just come with you, so we can talk right away.”
Marv paused briefly and then smiled cordially.
“Of course, Mr. Horton.”
Lester wondered how much longer they would have to keep up the dissimulation and followed Marv and Dave down the hall. He figured it wouldn’t be long before the posse showed up. If they were going to take Dave, it would have to be by force.
“You know, Marv, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I’ve already told myself about a dozen times that if and when we ever got to this place, it wasn’t going to be a sunny day at the beach. And here you are being so kind and so courteous. I really hate to waste any more of your time.”
A tiny bead of sweat trickled down from Marv’s brow.
“Maybe you really believe that I’m Mr. Horton and this is Mr. Busburger, but now I feel I have to let you know that we ain’t.”
“I’m sorry to have mistaken you. You really should have said something…”
“Marv, please, give it up. There are a couple reasons we’re here. One. We have reason to believe you have constructed some kind of portal to another world. We’d like to dismantle it. You’re fucking with something you don’t understand, and you’re going to bring misery to the entire planet. Two. You have my partner, and I want him back safe. Maybe you can be a dear and help us out with those two items.”
From behind and in front, bursting from the doors along the hallway, well-armed commandos rushed out to surround the men. Simultaneously, Lester put Marv in a chokehold.
“Lester Phfister. You really could have made this a more enjoyable stay for yourself and Mr. Bullock,” Marv choked out.
“Make a move, GI Joe’s, and he stops breathing.”
One of the masked gunmen spoke, “We have orders to take Mr. Bullock at any cost… Marv is expendable.”
Marv’s face became pallid and expressionless. Lester clenched his teeth for few seconds as he weighed his options. One group of gunmen moved to grab Dave from behind.
“Okay, okay, take us to your leader.”
Dave looked disappointingly at Lester. Lester stepped closer to one of the open doors. Just as the gunmen were about to reach Dave, Lester shoved Marv into the oncoming group. He grabbed Dave and pulled him through the open door and slammed it shut. The two men were trapped.
“They’re going to flash-bang us if we don’t think of something quick,” Lester muttered.
Dave and Lester spotted a heavy oak table. They strained to flip it on its end and wedged it against the door.
“Now what?”
Before them was a large window that looked upon the green waters of Lake Cumberland from below.
“Let’s make like Harry and vandalize.”
Lester recalled in Harry’s briefing how he cracked a window to cause a ruckus back in Montana. The two began to search for something to bash the window.
“Damn. It looks like they learned their lesson. There ain’t shit in here heavy enough to crack the glass except that table. And that thing is too big a bitch to use as a battering ram unless you’re Hercules,” Lester complained.
They could hear heavy banging on the door. The table wouldn’t hold forever.
“Lester, let them come. They won’t be able to use me now that Vros is with me. But I can get close to the portal.”
“That sounds fine for you, but what about Harry? Make sure he is all right, if you can. If they get in here, I’m as good as dead. I don’t have any special gifts I can use as leverage except for my charming personality.”
“I’ll see to his safety.”
Dave wrestled inside with Vros about Lester. Vros was willing to sacrifice Lester for the greater cause, but Dave felt a kinship with Lester after getting him this far. Lester couldn’t just be tossed aside after all they had been through.
“I’ll see to your safety as well.”
“Don’t worry about me, Dave. I’ve had a good run. After what I let happen to Tommy, I sort of feel I have it coming.”
The table splintered, and the gunmen stormed in to subdue both men quickly and effortlessly. Lester received a few unprovoked kicks to the ribs. As the men were dragged away, Marv stopped the group holding Lester.
“Keep Phfister alive for questioning. He may hold vital intelligence.”
A short while later in the portal room, a uniformed man approached a pacing Dolph Hauser with an update on the ongoing situations within the subterranean fortress. Dolph walked up to the cocoon, which was being prepared for one more entry into the portal, to speak to his unresponsive recalcitrant captive.
“Harry, you’re running out of time to make this work. I have another Bullock man, and let me tell you, the last Bullock responded very well to the process. I haven’t confirmed if he has made a meal of your lady friends yet, but it’s almost certain.”
Another man in a lab coat approached Dolph.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, Sir. The woman is now an empty vessel waiting to be filled. We can make her believe anything.”
“God damn it! You’re pestering me with low priority minutiae. I’ll get to Angie when I can. Just keep her under. Oh, and if I find anyone has dipped his wick, I’ve got all your damn DNA on file. You will be castrated and fed your own damn nuts. Tell the genetics guys to start working on the Bullock woman already. We still need to create some viable eggs based on her DNA. We’re not going to be able to build an army without soldiers.”
Just when Lester was beginning to feel like he was building up a tolerance for bizarre encounters, stumbling upon Bronco was almost an overdose of weird. Lester had just cracked the lock on the door of the tree-topped bunker, but he was having trouble getting the image of the blood-encrusted Bronco out of his head. Had Lester known the part Bronco played in ending Harry’s emails, there most likely would have been much more than squirrel blood covering Bronco.
“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised myself. On our way to Kentucky, I ran into him in a restaurant bathroom.”
“There ain’t no way you could remember some guy from a public restroom unless you were doing more than pissing or shitting.”
“He is one of those characters you don’t forget. He made it a point to tell me directly how much he loved Metallica. When I saw him coming at us… well, you saw what happened.”
“I’m thinking that little buster’s skull would be cracked wide open right now if the mother of all coincidences hadn’t just occurred.”
Dave and Lester descended a flight of stairs down into what seemed to be an abandoned garrison. There were troop quarters and a central staging area, but no troops and no sign that any troops actually lived there at the moment. The area was minimally lit though, which seemed a little odd to Lester for an unoccupied section of an underground fortress. Energy conservation must not have been a high priority. Then Lester and Dave heard another set of footsteps.
Oxfords. Lester searched for some cover, but it was too late. A man in an English suit rounded the corner and spotted them immediately. Lester smiled at the man. Surprisingly, the man returned the smile and continued to walk towards the two disheveled hikers.
“Mr. Horton, Mr. Bussabarger, I’m so glad you found your way in. I apologize sincerely for the inconvenience. Our main entrance is a little off-limits at the moment. Of course, you understand.”
The man extended his hand to Lester and then to Dave who both instinctively shook it while giving each other sidelong glances—glances that translated into text message shorthand would read, “WTF?”
“You can call me Marv. I’ll be showing you to your rooms, and then we’ll be meeting with Dolph momentarily. Follow me, please.”
Marv knew exactly whom he was talking to. It was decided the pretense of mistaken identity would be adequate to lure the two guests into a false sense of confidence. They would be easier to manage. Bloodshed would be minimized.
---
In room 16, bloodshed was an understatement. Ivy stood in shock and nausea against the wall as Pam picked up the decapitated head of Anton and removed the hat he had been wearing. She carefully slipped off the mesh of wires that had encapsulated Anton’s crown since the trio’s disembarking the hydrofoil. The wiry device collapsed into a smaller form. Ivy had not noticed Anton was wearing anything under the hat. Pam looked to Ivy as the beastly body of Claude Bullock inched cautiously closer towards the smaller of the two women.
“Ivy. I’m going to throw this to you. Pull the two pointed ends apart and put this on your head with the pointier side in the front. Then run to me.”
“I’m going to puke.”
“This stops the puke.”
Pam threw the device at Ivy. It fell a few feet short, landing on the red-coated floor. Ivy struggled to reach for the device. The closer she moved to Pam’s glowing caduceus, the more her stomach moved up into her throat. A throbbing pain in her head began to increase as she felt the bond between Ru and herself begin to fray. With her head as far from the tip of her fingers as possible, Ivy screamed with one last reach to grasp the device. She began to pull the ball of wires apart frantically as the distance between her and Claude diminished. Blood dripped into her eyes as she placed the device on her head. Then Claude’s body slammed into the wall where Ivy had been standing, missing her by inches as she sprinted slipping and sliding towards Pam. Pam grabbed Ivy tight with one arm while she held the caduceus in front of them both like a shield.
“How is the possible? How can you hold such a thing?” Claude rumbled.
“Our souls are cloaked, demon. Now it is you who are trapped,” Pam proclaimed triumphantly.
“I’ll destroy you before you have a chance to complete your magic.”
“So be it. At least one of us will remain to carry out our mission. Who are you? Xerbil? Gno’orfz? You’ve defiled the human body you inhabit for naught.”
“You know those names. Yes, I’m certain we’ve met before.”
Claude’s tongue rapidly escaped his mouth to slurp up some of Anton’s blood covering his hand. Pam with Ivy began to move in Claude’s direction when the lights came on and a voice came from the door.
“I don’t know who you are or why Claude hasn’t killed you yet, but you better not make another fucking move.”
“Steven, my friend, you’re just in time. We seem to have some uninvited guests.”
The orderly stood at the door with a submachine gun trained on the two women. He tapped a button on his earpiece.
“We’re going to need the clean-up crew for room 16 again. Sorry, guys.”
The sight of blood had never bothered him before, yet the orderly was suddenly feeling the taste of his dinner and stomach acid bubbling up his esophagus.
Claude hissed, “Put away your silly magic wand, or Steven will shoot you down. Isn’t that right, Steven?”
Pam hurled the caduceus at the orderly, who was able to fire off a few rounds before saying goodbye to his Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Pam and Ivy ran towards the convulsing man to recover the wand. Ivy crumpled in pain at the doorway.
“Pam.”
Ivy held her shoulder. Pam moved Ivy’s sopping red hand to view the damage.
“High and outside. Looks like he got you right through the shoulder, kid.”
Claude hovered menacingly near the horizon of the caduceus’ sphere of influence while Pam ripped a couple shreds of the bottom part of her shirt to dress Ivy’s wound.
---
Trapped in the cocoon, Harry had nothing but time. After processing what he thought had happened, Harry decided to write it off as merely a dream at first—an intensely vivid and detailed dream. The joy of seeing his Nana and the pain of seeing her disappear was too overwhelming for Harry to deal with. But the typical distractions were no longer there for Harry in the cocoon. The only places he could go were deeper into his own mind. He began to methodically scour every detail about the red folder assignment that had led him to his current state. The Brother Dave videos popped up in his memory review. With all he had seen, Harry could now fully appreciate some of Dave’s words. Dave’s meditation lessons seemed apropos at the moment. Rather than letting go, Harry was to embrace every living thing around him at once. He was to try to connect to everything around him in some way—feel it, sense it, become it. This was counterintuitive to most teachings, but Harry continued. To Harry’s wonder, with his body in the cocoon, he was actually beginning to feel like he was touching the outside with his mind. He wasn’t just thinking about it; he felt as if he was somehow interacting with it-- recognizing it genuinely. There was Dolph. There was Angie. There was Bronco. There was Lester. There was Dave. He saw Dave’s friend Pam and the mystery girl from the pool and the internet video. There were beings of light and a shadow amongst them. Harry couldn’t control what happened outside, but he was so close to seeing it.
At that moment, following Marv through another section of the compound, Dave nudged Lester.
“Your friend is here,” Dave mumbled to Lester.
“How do you know this?”
“I don’t know. I just know he is here.”
“Is he okay?”
“If I’m sensing him, he must be alive.”
Marv stopped at a large door, turned, and looked at Lester.
“Mr. Horton, your suite. If you need anything, just pick up the phone and dial ‘zero’. I’ll be back around 9:30. Then we can meet Dolph.”
Lester could sense Marv was trying to separate them.
“If y’all don’t mind, I need to see where Busburger’s suite is. I need to go over some details with him before the meeting.”
“He’ll be four doors down from you in the jaguar room,” Marv said as he pointed down the hall.
“Heck, I’ll just come with you, so we can talk right away.”
Marv paused briefly and then smiled cordially.
“Of course, Mr. Horton.”
Lester wondered how much longer they would have to keep up the dissimulation and followed Marv and Dave down the hall. He figured it wouldn’t be long before the posse showed up. If they were going to take Dave, it would have to be by force.
“You know, Marv, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I’ve already told myself about a dozen times that if and when we ever got to this place, it wasn’t going to be a sunny day at the beach. And here you are being so kind and so courteous. I really hate to waste any more of your time.”
A tiny bead of sweat trickled down from Marv’s brow.
“Maybe you really believe that I’m Mr. Horton and this is Mr. Busburger, but now I feel I have to let you know that we ain’t.”
“I’m sorry to have mistaken you. You really should have said something…”
“Marv, please, give it up. There are a couple reasons we’re here. One. We have reason to believe you have constructed some kind of portal to another world. We’d like to dismantle it. You’re fucking with something you don’t understand, and you’re going to bring misery to the entire planet. Two. You have my partner, and I want him back safe. Maybe you can be a dear and help us out with those two items.”
From behind and in front, bursting from the doors along the hallway, well-armed commandos rushed out to surround the men. Simultaneously, Lester put Marv in a chokehold.
“Lester Phfister. You really could have made this a more enjoyable stay for yourself and Mr. Bullock,” Marv choked out.
“Make a move, GI Joe’s, and he stops breathing.”
One of the masked gunmen spoke, “We have orders to take Mr. Bullock at any cost… Marv is expendable.”
Marv’s face became pallid and expressionless. Lester clenched his teeth for few seconds as he weighed his options. One group of gunmen moved to grab Dave from behind.
“Okay, okay, take us to your leader.”
Dave looked disappointingly at Lester. Lester stepped closer to one of the open doors. Just as the gunmen were about to reach Dave, Lester shoved Marv into the oncoming group. He grabbed Dave and pulled him through the open door and slammed it shut. The two men were trapped.
“They’re going to flash-bang us if we don’t think of something quick,” Lester muttered.
Dave and Lester spotted a heavy oak table. They strained to flip it on its end and wedged it against the door.
“Now what?”
Before them was a large window that looked upon the green waters of Lake Cumberland from below.
“Let’s make like Harry and vandalize.”
Lester recalled in Harry’s briefing how he cracked a window to cause a ruckus back in Montana. The two began to search for something to bash the window.
“Damn. It looks like they learned their lesson. There ain’t shit in here heavy enough to crack the glass except that table. And that thing is too big a bitch to use as a battering ram unless you’re Hercules,” Lester complained.
They could hear heavy banging on the door. The table wouldn’t hold forever.
“Lester, let them come. They won’t be able to use me now that Vros is with me. But I can get close to the portal.”
“That sounds fine for you, but what about Harry? Make sure he is all right, if you can. If they get in here, I’m as good as dead. I don’t have any special gifts I can use as leverage except for my charming personality.”
“I’ll see to his safety.”
Dave wrestled inside with Vros about Lester. Vros was willing to sacrifice Lester for the greater cause, but Dave felt a kinship with Lester after getting him this far. Lester couldn’t just be tossed aside after all they had been through.
“I’ll see to your safety as well.”
“Don’t worry about me, Dave. I’ve had a good run. After what I let happen to Tommy, I sort of feel I have it coming.”
The table splintered, and the gunmen stormed in to subdue both men quickly and effortlessly. Lester received a few unprovoked kicks to the ribs. As the men were dragged away, Marv stopped the group holding Lester.
“Keep Phfister alive for questioning. He may hold vital intelligence.”
---
A short while later in the portal room, a uniformed man approached a pacing Dolph Hauser with an update on the ongoing situations within the subterranean fortress. Dolph walked up to the cocoon, which was being prepared for one more entry into the portal, to speak to his unresponsive recalcitrant captive.
“Harry, you’re running out of time to make this work. I have another Bullock man, and let me tell you, the last Bullock responded very well to the process. I haven’t confirmed if he has made a meal of your lady friends yet, but it’s almost certain.”
Another man in a lab coat approached Dolph.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, Sir. The woman is now an empty vessel waiting to be filled. We can make her believe anything.”
“God damn it! You’re pestering me with low priority minutiae. I’ll get to Angie when I can. Just keep her under. Oh, and if I find anyone has dipped his wick, I’ve got all your damn DNA on file. You will be castrated and fed your own damn nuts. Tell the genetics guys to start working on the Bullock woman already. We still need to create some viable eggs based on her DNA. We’re not going to be able to build an army without soldiers.”